"GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL"

My above post title is a quote by Chili Davis and I feel it best describes me and my two best friends.  We all know Dave is my ULTIMATE best friend, but these best friends are girls; actually, they are more like sisters if you ask me. 

I felt impelled to write about Kristin Watanabe and Kaitlin Griffith because they have always been there for me.  I couldn't ask for anything more than what they have given me throughout our years of friendship. 

I was looking today at post by Kristin and she posted some pictures of when we were younger.  It's so crazy how much we have been through together.  Kristin was always there when the rest of the world wasn't.  When family didn't understand what was going on Kristin was there for moral support and never judged me nor my character.  I could tell her anything; my worst, most embarrassing, dark secrets and she would always be there emotionally for me when I needed her.  Though we are thousands of miles apart she can still work magic in my life.  She can turn my day around and make me feel better about myself when I feel most insecure. 

Kristin has been there through every up and down.  I consider her my sister.  She gets me more than anyone I know; even more than Kaitlin, but mine and Kaitlin's relationship is on another level which I will get to.  Kristin and I have possibly more inside-jokes than even me and Dave.  I love her because when we're together I feel like we are 19 and 20 again.  I feel like we have matured in the right areas of life, but in the mental department we can be kids again and say, "Eff the world, 'Wendell & Watanabe' have just arrived!"  We can go from being mature adults to teenage girls in a split second.  We can walk through a store and feel like the only ones in there and start playing dress-up.  We just don't care what people think of us.  We are by all means respectful, but at the same time we don't give a shit.  Somehow we manage to always visit each other around Halloween so going into the stores is a blast.  We put on every retarded item we can find.  Even when it's not Halloween we manage to find accessories to wear around the store for amusement and attention.

I can go on-and-on about Kristin.  I love her so much.  I will always love her.  Through our ups-and-downs we always pull through and come back to loving each other 110 percent.  I am so proud of who she has become and what she is doing in life.  We will continue to have our years of memories.  We have made so many thus far, and they are all special to me.  If I could I would go back to when we were young and do everything the exact same.  Even if I have to get her arrested at Flanagan's again for my own actions of being a psycho in the bathroom.  hahaha...  That story doesn't get old.  I love you Kristin Lee Watanabe Wendell!!!! 

Now on to my other love Kaitlin Griffith.  Kaitlin, Katie, K.D.D.  haha....  Kaitlin and I met back in high school.  Though my memory is vague from being the bad drug child I was, I remember mostly memories of me, Katie, swim, waterpolo and choir.  I loved Katie instantly because she was very sweet and super hyper-active which was hilarious.  I remember the day I talked Kaitlin into ditching our last period of waterpolo because we had a substitute and all substitutes were vulnerable in my opinion.  haha.... I was like, "...we don't need to stay, we aren't even doing anything let's just ditch."  Katie decided to go with me which was fun.  The shitty part was coming back the next day to feel the wrath of our teacher (and waterpolo coach) after we confessed, "We did it." 

Kaitlin and I have been like sisters all of these years.  I always considered her a younger sister, but she's only two years younger and as we got into our twenties it became irrelevant.  Katie is my "hippy" friend, as I always describe her to my other friends.  She is amazingly outgoing, and doesn't harp on the small insignificant things in life like most people do.  Katie has always been a go-with-the-flow type of person and that is what I absolutely love about her.  Any time I want to go do something I call her up and she is at my house in 10 minutes; literally because she lives across the street.  haha.... Kaitlin is my surfing, swimming, rock-climbing, hiking, biking, drinking, pool-playing and singing partner.  When I'm doing any of these things, I love doing them with Katie. 

When I'm with Kaitlin I feel like I'm back in high school.  I'm always on a natural high around her.  I actually feel like I'm high on life.  We can laugh for hours about the stupidest crap.  We get each other.  We can almost read each others thoughts.  I love her laugh, her smile, her warm, sincere heart.  She is genuine and as real as a friend can get.  She excepts everyone for who they are and she is amazing at socializing.  She is such a social butterfly, it's hilarious to watch her go around and talk to everyone she doesn't know.  

Katie is awesome because she is care-free.  I love hanging out with her.  I love her so much.

The awesome thing about my two best friends is they are friends as well.  I introduced them back in the day when Kristin was visiting and now we can all have fun together.  It feels so great when Kristin comes out to visit and I can have both of my friends together.  

Last time Kristin came out we once again went from being in our twenties to being a bunch of 12 year olds.  No one, except us, gets us.  We had a blast playing dress up with our hippy-caps, wearing our underwear over our pants, wearing scarfs, glasses and swim goggles.  Singing our hearts out until 4 in the morning.  Leaving our own backyard party so we wouldn't further upset Dave, and taking our party to Kaitlin's car in the driveway.  Walking into 711 with our crazy outfits on and then once again singing our hearts out in the car.  Smoking our lungs away because we had too much fun and didn't realize how much we drank, and they just go hand-in-hand.  Having a brilliant idea of going swimming at the community pool, and then having an even GREATER idea of turning that into a skinny dipping session.  haha....  Swinging on the swing sets, and also falling off of them.  Walking miles to a Dennys that is closed even though it has a sign that reads, "America's best diner always open".  Peeing in the weirdest places possible.  haha.....  Picking Kristin up off the ground.  Shooting each other in the back of an alley with an airsoft gun.  Causing other guys girlfriends to break up with them because they don't like the way we act (that was actually a really weird case).  Going to a Korean restaurant and not having a clue how to eat the food or what it even was.  Staying up until 5 and 6 in the morning and then doing it all over again. 

These are only a few reasons why I love these girls so much.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us.  I love you two so much I can't even describe it. 

(Here are a few pictures me and my besties)

BOWL OF SHIT

Today my friend, Staff Sergeant Marini, said a humorous thing.  I don't remember his exact words, but he said something along the lines of, "Sometimes [in the Army] you're dealt a big bowl of shit and you're given two options: you can use a spoon or a fork."  hahaha..... I was laughing so hard when he said this because it's so true; especially lately.  Everything has been so crappy here.  I wish I could explain more, but I have to, metaphorically, go eat a bowl of shit as we speak.  Moral of the story is, your options are limited and either way you have to deal with what is put in front of you.  Things are going to get shitty and we have to suck it up.  

Thank you SSG Marini for the good laughs, and your nerdy perspective on everything military.  I'm glad you're my Army brother.   

TOO FAR FROM HOME

I'm feeling far from home, where things are out of my reach.  Things I can't control whether I'm home or not, but things that sink far into my mind that I can't fathom.  I'm feeling alone today.  Missing my family and everything about them.  Hoping that God hears our prayers for our loved one that is going through something that can possibly be life changing, but God please God keep him safe and don't put such harshness on our family. 

I miss my husband's comfort and optimistic outlook upon life.  I miss that my husband is the closest thing to God that can give me a loving touch.  God can always lift me up when I am down, but there are times when I need that physical touch; a hug, a kiss that helps me know everything is going to be ok.  I can't stop crying today.  I feel so overwhelmed.  I'm physically and mentally exhausted with Army stuff; unfortunately, it's not as easy as throwing in a towel and saying "eff this".  I am proud of what I am doing, but at times I wonder, Is what I am doing selfish?   

I have my Army family that will always be here for me too, but talking about feelings comes with signs of weakness and lack of ability to do my job without being an emotional wreck.  I know they would understand the circumstance, but I would rather just be alone and leave my feelings to myself.

FOUR-DAY PASS [OUT]

Well my four-day pass is coming to a halt.  I've been able to have a nice relaxing time.  The first night on Wednesday we came back into Fort Bliss and went out drinking at a place on base called Shamrocks.  It's a little Irish pub.  I went out with Marini, Molin and Anaya.  We had a blast.  I didn't want to stay out late because I had the brunch with Command Sergeant Major Schultz the next day, but I agreed to go off post so I wouldn't ruin or shorten the guys night.  Long story short, Molin and Anaya got pretty rusty-drunk.  haha.... I was laughing so hard.  I stopped drinking super early because I knew I was going to end up the designated driver which I didn't mind at all because I didn't want to feel like crap the next day when I needed to focus.  So the night went by, I think about 2:00 am rolled up and I was tired and ready to go, and Molin and Anaya were definitely done.  Molin was being super creepster with the bartender, it was quite entertaining, but I needed to leave to get my sleep.  When we got in the car Molin automatically passed out, conveniently on Anaya's lap like a homo.  haha....  It was awesome.  That pretty much ended the night..... actually no it didn't, Molin came knocking on my door at 6:00 in the morning looking for his keys, still apparently inebriated.  I didn't have his keys, and later found out he decided to just break his wall locker instead to get his belongings out so he could catch his flight.  haha...

Thursday came way too early.  I ended up feeling like crap, but not from drinking or lack of, it was because I woke up at 3:30 am and had horrible allergies.  I took an allergy pill and finally fell asleep which was then interrupted by drunk Molin like I mentioned above.  Long-story-short, it was a pretty sleepless night, but I managed to get my butt up and get ready.

We arrived in McGreggor at the DFAC (Dining Facility) and finally met up with the CSM.  There were six other Soldiers from two different units which made me feel a little more at ease because I knew I wasn't going to have to speak as much.  All-in-all it was a great brunch.  The cooks, and other employees were amazing.  They really made this Thanksgiving away from home special.  Some were dressed up like Pilgrims and Indians.  It was really cute.  They had so much dessert and candy.  I didn't take as much advantage of it like I normally do, but I did manage to take 5 candies for the road.  =)

Once the evening came on Thursday I met up with some Soldiers.  I mostly hung out with Marini and Preston.  Everything on post was closed except Buffalo Wild Wings so we decided to start our party there and have some drinks.  Later on in the day Shamrocks opened up so we took our party there and Laird met up with us for some more drinks.  We had a nice night, a lot of debates with Preston who thinks he's right about everything.  I love Preston, but he absolutely drives me up the wall with his stubbornness and always thinking he knows everything.  We somehow made it through all the discussions that kept escalating to arguments, and overall had a pleasant night together.

Yesterday, which was Friday I got to sleep in.  I still woke up early and got ready to head to the PX.  I pretty much stayed at the PX all day.  Hanging out with a few friends and also playing on my computer.  Later I met up with Marini and Preston and we went to see Breaking Dawn at the movies.  Marini and I were super engaged and Preston was pretty much in hell.  haha.....  He rated it, "...the worst movie [he's] seen in 5 years".  I was dying laughing.  I could tell how uncomfortable he was throughout the entire movie.  After the movie I called it a night.  I was pretty tired and didn't feel like drinking so I went to sleep early.  

Today, I came back to the PX to write this blog.  I plan on staying out of my room for the day and then going out to Shamrocks to have some Tokyo Tea, and hopefully staying until 9:00 pm so I can do some karaoke.  I wish I had Kaitlin with me, I miss singing with her.  We were always called, "The Dynamic Duo" at 15s.  I miss it already.  Anyway, that was most of my four-day pass.  Nothing spectacular, but it was better than sitting around all day back in the crap-hole we've been staying at.  

Here are some pictures below of things I did from my pass.  

EARLY TURKEY SURPRISE!

Well after a long horrific day yesterday, waking up this morning seemed unbearable; however, none of us have a choice so we woke up for a 0600 PT formation.  PT wasn't bad, I was glad they didn't have us running today.  After PT we went to classes which we have gone through over-and-over again in regards to detainee operations and culture awareness.  It was hard to stay awake, but we made it through until lunch.  We were quite surprised to walk in the chow tent and see that they were having an early turkey lunch for us.  They had turkey, ham, mash potatoes, stuffing, corn, buiscuits, pumpkin pie and other yummy food.  They also had little decorations on each of the tables as well as bottles of sparkling cidar, Hershey chocolates, those little Andies mint candies, and nuts.  Over all a nice treat like lunch today made up for our shitty day we all had yesterday.  It was nice to sit together and have a feast.  Here are some pictures below.  One picture is of me and my friend Blain, and the other is of my other two friends, Wiist (the one I call my little brother) and Flamenco.  These two are always the highlight of my days.  We joke around all day together and lift each other up when we're feeling down.  I love them all very much.

New Mexico Sky

"I will grow. I will become something new and grand, but no grander than I now am. Just as the sky will be different in a few hours, it's present perfection and completeness is not deficient." - Wayne Dyer

As awful as this location may be during training, the sunrises and sunsets are stunning. Quite a beautiful scene to end a long day. (Picture taken outside of my room today, November 20,2011)

ALERT! ALERT! MASS CONFUSION!

A German General Officer once said, "The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis."

I couldn't agree more on this quote, mostly on the "chaos" that is practiced on a daily basis.  I'm astonished how unorganized the Army can be at times.  This Moblization for our deployment is utterly unmotivating, and mentally exhausting.  We have done pre-deployment task at least 3-4 times.  Due to the lack of care, our training certificates that we have turned in numerous times have once again been "lost".  It is also irritating that our leadership puts out information that we need to do more online training, and that it has to be done in a few hours; at a location where most Soldiers have no internet access, and no printers.  Not only that, but the websites we have to use are always down or not supported by our computers.  I have completely lost my mind and respect for the way the Army, more-so our leadership, handles business.  I am fortunate to have a computer and I paid for internet access; however, I am unfortunate in the fact that I can not log on to any of these courses because none of them work.  I'm losing all motivation at this point.  I can't wait to get to where our mission is and for all of this non-sense to be over.